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Dating - How to Make a Wager

1/19/2015

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The word wager means to risk something on an uncertain event. Although in dating we are not wagering money (well, perhaps sometimes),  deciding to date someone is always a risk. We are wagering this person may pay off as a lover or even potential spouse. Asking someone for a date is not just uncertain, it can be scary has hell. How do you make the wager? When is it worth taking a risk? And how much effort do you make to win love? These are only a few questions we ask ourselves. First you need to understand that situation at hand.

  1. Is the person of your fancy available? If a person is interested but already in a relationship, getting involved is a risky bet. Even if a person breaks off the relationship to be with you, beware; their agenda may be rebound. Often times, people are looking for excuses to leave relationships. Be careful you do not become an “excuse.” Do not bet too much on this situation. You may lose big.
  2. Are they interested? Before planning the date of your dream, make sure their interest equals yours. If you’re unsure of a person’s interest, try a simple wager of lunch, or meeting for a few drinks. If you pull out the stops for someone whose interest is moderate, you may scare them away. Play this situation casual.
  3. Are they too eager? You are interested in getting to know someone, but their interest seems to be more engaged. A good wager would be conversation over coffee. Your wager should be low as to not increase the other’s expectations.
  4. Do your interest levels match? This would be a good opportunity to for a big wager – the big romantic gesture. Go for it! Even if this date doesn’t result in marital bliss, it is always good to have fond memories of dating. It will give you a much better outlook when the next opportunity arises.
The one thing to remember, love and dating is not an all or nothing event. It is all about experiencing other people to find the one. Never underestimate the importance of a good conversation over coffee, or laughter over a few drinks. What is gained from any experience is invaluable.

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    Jennifer Ott is the author of Wild Horses and the dating book, "Love & Handicapping".

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