Dating - Knowing When to Pass

“You got to know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em.
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money, when you're sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for countin', when the dealin's done.”
~ Kenny Rodgers

Ironically, a song about gambling has so much truth for dating, love and relationships. You have to know when a relationship is working. You have to have the strength and courage to walk away when it’s not. And most importantly, you never anticipate a relationship until both parties are in it.

Like a gambler desperate for a win, many people approach dating and relationships the same way. We continually place bets on love until we find the one that proves to be a winner. And like a gambler, too often we walk away disappointed and heart-broke.

The reason why so many people get tired of the dating scene is they are trying too hard to find a mate – dating everyone available person. No wonder so many people get deflated and give up. A successful gambler doesn’t bet on every race, but on ones he/she thinks they might have a chance of winning. And this is where a little bit of selectivity comes into play with dating.

1. If you have fallen in love with someone who is slow to make a commitment, or does not satisfy your wants and needs – walk away. If you’re not fully satisfied, no matter how great the person this relationship is not for you. There will be someone else better suited for you.
2. If you have fallen in love with a rock star on tour and you’ve spent a few wild passionate nights, it is unlikely this relationship will go anywhere. Relish the experience and then fold’em.
3. If you discover the man you are dating is already involved, or married – run.
4. If you meet the man of your dreams, do not imagine your wedding on your first date. There are more losses and heartbreak over high expectations than any other dating misfortune. I would suggest waiting to imagine your wedding when he pops the question, then the deal is done.

The desire for love and relationships can be so great, we will accept something that doesn’t really work – and then we have to work hard to keep it.  And remember with every failed relationship, this is a better one on the horizon.